We go through life affected by these tiny events hour by hour, minute by minute. How many of them do you hold on to? How many stick on your mind and your heart? How many dealings do you dwell upon and therefore miss the wonders that follow?
How clouded is your inside?
I look at my 3-year-old and realize, I’ve missed the whole point of living and forgiving. 3-year-olds are the greatest teachers of life quality. Not once have I seen her sulk over something that happened an hour ago. Hardly even 10 minutes ago.
I think of all the times when I have not treated my little one as good as I perhaps should. I moan about her not picking up her clothes from the floor, I nag at her at the dinner table to finish her meal, to sit up straight and to not be so messy. I am sometimes late to pick her up from kindergarden and i feel so guilty. Yes, all of this is pretty normal stuff, it is all part of parenting and it is probably not very harmful in the long run. She will probably grow up to be a pleasant grown-up.
But that is not what strikes me. What strikes me is her unconditional love for me. No matter how many times I've yelled at her to be better, to be faster, to do right, to stop crying. She still totally adores me. She still thinks I’m the greatest mum in the world. She still loves me more than probably any other person in this universe.
Every time she sees me, it doesn't matter if I’ve been away for days or five minutes. She still smiles so much when I enter the room it could light up the earth. She smiles, drops whatever she is doing and runs towards me yelling "mum" and then when I pick her up and squeezes her, she buries her tiny little face in my neck
and whispers: "mum I love you" with that warm voice which is completely without doubt and hesitations.
She doesn’t dwell on the latest argument we had. The only thing that enters her mind is, the fact that the person she loves so much just entered the room and she is so happy to be in my arms and tell me how much she loves me, again.
A three-year-old doesn't even have to actively forgive, forgivness is part of her natural being, she doesn’t have to explain herself. She simply and unconditionally loves and loves to do so. She’s not embarrassed by her shortcomings. She’s not embarrassed that she cried and screamed at me last time we were together. She has forgiven all that the same minute it happened and she has moved on towards love. Towards the tomorrow I wish I could too.
I so wish I could learn from my child when it comes to love and forgiveness. That pure innocence which we lose when we grow older. As adults we hold grudges, we dwell and linger upon all the unrighteousness’ that is cast upon us. We sit back and count the injustices that others have bestowed upon us. We sour. we moan and we groan. We complain and we nag. Every day, all the time.
What if we could learn from a three year old when it comes to forgiveness? What if we could let forgiveness be a part of our natural way of being? What if we could forgive, the minute after we are feeling betrayed?
What if we could run into the arms of each other and say: “hey, I love you”, not even mentioning or even thinking of the last time we fought with that person, because that is all in the past, in fact it is so much in the past that it does no longer exist in our minds or hearts. We simply see each other as loving light beams which we could do nothing else but love. That we are so happy when someone we love enters the room that our smiles light up the whole room – if not the universe.
If forgiveness was as natural as blinking, what a wonderful world it would be.
Merry Christmas to all of you, I will be more like a -3 year-old this Christmas.